Tonight 7th Heaven ends but the previews continue unabated:
Team: Australia
Facts:
A. Soccer is even more unpopular in Australia than it is in America. Rest assured nobody is blogging about the World Cup down under. Although this might have to do with the fact that what an Australian considers a "computer" is usually just a cut-up refrigerator box with sock puppets.
B. Australia is in Group F. More popularly known as the "oh fuck Brazil is in our group" group.
C. Australia hasn't been to the W.C. since 1974. To be quite honest their opponents in qualifying matchups were a little on the crappy side. No offense to New Caledonia but you suck at soccer. On the bright side New Caledonia you're not tied down in a disastrous land war in the Middle East!! So that's good.
D. Favorite Oceanian Zone qualifying stat - if you add up the scores of all the matches played by the Cook Islands it reads thusly: 5 matches: Other teams 17 goals -Cook Islands 1 goal. Cook Island soccer hooligans were big time pissed off about that. But of course the New Caledonia corollary applies here as well.
E. No matter what happens in the World Cup, Australia can rest assured that is has unequivocally, undoubtedly passed the United States in any standard of living index imaginable.
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