Team: Iran
Newsworthy Items (most items stolen from BBC soccer page and the book "How Soccer Explains the World"):
1. Iran's 2-1 defeat of the United States in 1998 killed soccer forever in this country. I admit that I am not completely tapped into the cultural zeitgeist of this nation but I know as a certainty that our people will never love a sport in which we regularly get our asses kicked by Iran.
2. The mullahs that run that superfine Iranian government actually hate soccer and have attempted to ban it on several occasions but the Iranian citizenry will not stand for it. 110,000 people showed up to watch Iran beat Japan in March 2005. Have I mentioned we're thinking about bombing the living shit out of these people? Whoo-ah!
3. Iran plays their first World Cup game June 11 vs. Mexico in Nuremberg. Home of the Nazi trials, you know about the holocaust which the Iranian President doesn't think happened. Can you defeat a strong Mexican team and declare that the genocide of 6 million people didn't happen in the city where those who perpetrated said genocide were tried in front of the world? Tune into ESPN2 and find out!!
4. The Iranian football team has their own website. View the website poignantly as you contemplate Pentagon plans to try really had to kill as few Iranian people as possible by dropping taxpayer subsidized bombs on them. Go Planet Earth!!
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