an ongoing series chronicling the rapidly declining standard of living in the United States - presented by the Annenberg Foundation:
Doomed Town: Cairo, IL
Location: the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers
Population in 2002: - 3,632
Population in 2020: - can you have a negative population?
Reasons it's dying: gay marriage, abortion, hip-hop lyrics, hippies, the low low everyday prices of Wal-Mart, refusing to desegregate in the 1960's probably didn't help, being nowhere near the interstate, the steady onward unyielding procession of time
Times mentioned in the collected works of Bill Bryson: 1 (not favorably)
Fun Cairo facts: the Mississippi River is brown and the Ohio River is blue thus making for a hell of a confluence!!, General Grant did some shit here during the Civil War, the Customs House tourist attraction features a giant Tiffany clock (note none of these facts are found in the Wikipedia Cairo entry - burn Wikipedia burn)
Proposed slogan to attract newcomers: "Hey people living in Las Vegas don't you ever get depressed living there - like you know on Christmas Eve!! Move to Cairo and to cushion your blow we'll provide discount scratch-off lotto tickets."
Chances of survival: Is Mark Twain dead?
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